I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize