Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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