Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.