so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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