Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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