Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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