Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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