Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
