i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
