I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
