I'm drive I can fine osifer
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
