Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize