just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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