You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
