I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
