No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
