just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
