i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
