Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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