idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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