I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
