Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
