Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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