Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
