Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
