Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
