I wannas sexs uuuuu
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
