He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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