all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
is wine microwaveable?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
