could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
