I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
