you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize