Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize