Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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