have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
