we have pet lesbian snakes
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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