and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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