dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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