No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
