Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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