I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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