YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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