I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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