i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
