oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
