I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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