Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
