It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
