So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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