4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
