OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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