Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize