I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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