I'm drive I can fine osifer
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
