Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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