Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
