ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
