"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
