All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
