im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
