drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
