So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
