Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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