i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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