I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
